Why Do People Become Boring As They Grow Up?
- An essay by Manvitha Mondi written at the age of 11, submitted for the John Locke Institute Essay Writing Competition
Isn’t it just heart-warming to go through your childhood photos and wail, “Awww man, those days were just…different. And full of joy.”. And then we think, “Why is growing up so bitter? Responsibilities, financial burdens, workload, stress, family, you name it.”. But you know what actually makes growing up bitter? No, not the zeros in our bank account. And it’s not our responsibilities either. In fact, it’s none of the external things in life. This “bitterness of adulthood” is all in our mind. We view our lives as sources of stress instead of opportunities to experience something new. It is difficult for us to find beauty in the simple moments of life. We don’t “laugh at a silly picture until our stomach hurts”. We stop playing or trying out new things because “we’re too old for it”.
But who created this system where adults should stop playing, trying new things, or laughing like a child? There was once a time where we could create a whole empire with just a few building blocks. And now? It’s “childish”. We should be working on racking our brains to earn more money or get more likes on your instagram post instead. But why? Why should we be boring? Who asked us to be boring? Well, I don’t know how this system was created, but let me explain why we all blindly follow this boring and stereotyped system.
Now here’s the good news. Walt Disney once said, “Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.”. And no, I’m not asking you to play with Barbie dolls so that you can “be as happy as a child”. This quote reflects on the idea that we can keep our childlike awe, sheer curiosity, and wild imaginations even when we become adults. So, how do we it? How do we get back that childlike, creative, curious, outgoing energy back, and let it add bliss and beauty to our “boring” lives? The key to getting that energy back is to understand why we lost that energy.
Oh, sorry. Actually, we didn’t lose that energy. Your own mind stole it from you. Now, you must be thinking, “Manvitha, are you saying it’s all our fault? If our mind did it, doesn’t that mean we literally did it ourselves?”. But hear me out. We are not the mind. Our mind is a tool that we work with. It thinks “logically”and it is always worrying about the future. It’s not the external things but instead your own mind that gives you unnecessary stress (which is obviously not very childlike). Yes, I mean it. I am not saying this to judge or criticize your mind in any way (that would just add to your stress). I am telling you this to realize the truth. If you want to be a more interesting and passionate person, I am telling you that your “logical” mind is not capable of coming up with groundbreaking ideas, the silliest stories, or even clarity on what to do with life. As Albert Einstein said, “Logic takes you from A to B. Imagination takes you everywhere.” If you want to find your passion, purpose in life, or simply want to be more happy, then stop thinking “logically”. Start thinking “soulfully” and “positively”. Do what makes you happy. Don’t say, “It’s childish” or “It is not civilized for an adult”. You don’t have to paint your life with the brightest colors to stop being boring. If you stop filling the walls with stereotypes, limiting beliefs, stress, negativity and instead create space for a splash of color; life will paint it for you. No need to seek validation or praise from people or social media. It is only once you seek validation from yourself that you will genuinely experience from others.
Another thing that probably stole that childlike energy from you is society. No, I don’t mean your loved ones or strangers. Though society usually refers to people in a community, it can also refer to mortal beliefs or “normalcy”. What the world thinks about certain things. What the world thinks about you.
So what does the world/society think about “adulthood” ?
“Adults are grown-ups. They must use logic and practical knowledge to drive their decisions. They must be independent. They must not depend on a childish mindset. They must focus on career, responsibilities and money instead of wasting time on relaxation, hobbies, games or trying out new things. They must focus on finance and family, and be accountable for their mental health. They must always contribute to having a good reputation.”
Now, I am not saying that this is untrue or bad. It is absolutely ok, and in fact necessary to be a little independent when we grow up, and take responsibility for certain things. What I am saying is that in this era (probably due to the growing use of technology) logic is so prioritized that we believe that it is our one and only means of survival. Yes, it is our means of survival. But not our means of living. Not our means of thriving. Not our means of stepping away from “adulthood” for a while and finding joy in simple things. Not our means of being interesting, and full of ideas, like a child.
Maybe that’s why we all became boring.
Maybe that’s why we got caught in the system of logic and reputations. We do what society expects us to do, not what we truly want to do.
As Renuka Gavrani says in her book, “The Art Of Being Alone”, “Enough of this stupid system that likes to cage adults. This system is stupid because no one is happy. And I am here to beat that system. It starts with you and me.”
So, to beat this system, maybe it’s time we listen to our hearts. Our true selves.
The image above is mentioned in Gaur Gopal Das’s book, “Energize Your Mind.” It indicates that our true selves lie deep within these layers (koshas). Did you notice that the last and deepest layer is “Bliss Body”? Joseph Nguyen said that our natural state of being is bliss. Yes, I am not lying.
However, society blocks this path of bliss by aligning to strict, prejudiced stereotypes and rules. Just like a cardboard box. But it is not a compulsion to dwell in these boxes and align with the box of adulthood. What if I told you adulthood could be even more enriching than your perception? You get to learn more about yourself as you grow up. For instance, your interests, your hobbies, your personality. That’s beautiful. Do not mask it. Let yourself shine. Do all the creative things your heart desires without sticking to a prejudiced opinion. I hope this is enough to explain why we became boring, and how to beat the boredom. How to find joy from within rather than meeting other’s expectations. I believe this is enough to get going with the journey of life you are on.
And if you were to ask me what I would like to say finally as an 11-year-old girl, it would be, “Have fun with your life!”
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